How To Delete All Tables (the devils work)

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I guess the devil really is in the detailsInstead, open this one so you can ponder the possibilities.|||i was thinking about dante's divine comedy when i wrote this and thought that it was interesting to think of one of the ironic tortures that the satan is supposed to come up with so you can be punished for all eternity based on your worst fears etc...

so i thought...what would be the worst ironic punishment that the devil could come up with

any suggestions?|||I would be doomed to designing Crystal Reports for all eternity.|||And if you are going to get superstitious, we'll have to start cutting all threads before post #13.

Actually, that may not be a bad idea...|||i dont consider the devil a superstition, more of a boogeyman

here is my torture

i'm trapped in a server room with a monochrome (green) monitor with oracle version 7 trying to write correlated subqueries in the sql*Plus and my keyboard is missing an "L" key and the insert key is locked on!|||Originally posted by Ruprect
i dont consider the devil a superstition, more of a boogeyman

here is my torture

i'm trapped in a server room with a monochrome (green) monitor with oracle version 7 trying to write correlated subqueries in the sql*Plus and my keyboard is missing an "L" key and the insert key is locked on!

working on MS Windows with a keyboard missing the CTRL,ALT & DEL keys ...|||Yeah
coding in the query analyzer while the server is set to the japanese code page in a locked room with rdjabarov and blindman. :p

it's just a joke, just a joke...|||See you in hell, Ruprect! :mad:|||what makes you think that we arent already there?|||Well ... I am sure I am not there ... me and brett are in heaven enjoying the Margaritas and Whiskeys ...

Though we make an occasional trip there ... I sure am not living in Hell|||I don't think I would be allowed to drink a cold beer in Hell, and yet I am.|||Originally posted by blindman
I don't think I would be allowed to drink a cold beer in Hell, and yet I am.

Sunday and you guys are posting...geez...I thought I had an addiction...

Oh, That's right...it's the other thing...

And I bet Nigel would disagree...and it's not fizzy...

And Cursors are useful if you don't know sql...

DTS can be used the same way..

AND Beer is not cold and is not fizzy...

http://www.sqlteam.com/forums/pop_profile.asp?mode=display&id=1578|||Originally posted by Enigma
Well ... I am sure I am not there ... me and brett are in heaven enjoying the Margaritas and Whiskeys ...

Though we make an occasional trip there ... I sure am not living in Hell

Yeah?

Where are all the virgins?|||Now that you talk about it ... havent seen any ...

Am I right about our location ... or are we somewhere else ...|||I think only Muslims get the virgins. Sorry, Brett.|||I don't think I would be allowed to drink a cold beer in Hell, and yet I am.

yes you would
if it was flat or non-alcoholic|||You could always wake up from a hangover, open your eyes with great difficulty, and see me sitting in a chair watching you, smiling, chipper, and ready to chat. I used to do that to my room-mate in college.

The first weekend that his folks showed up (from about four hours drive away) and asked if he lived there, we shouted down from the roof that they should leave him on the porch. We figured that somebody's parents had found him in a frat (or sorority) and were bringing him home. I didn't find out until about a year later that this was an old joke, and that his parents thought we were kidding them (ok, so I was a sheltered kid).

By the time I went to college I had a pretty good background in pharmacology. Most of which I knew from practical experience (I wasn't the healthiest critter on the planet). I didn't have any clue about the recreational possibilities until I met some of the enterprising young folks in the dorms!

-PatP|||Dude, what brought about THAT confessional?|||Originally posted by blindman
Dude, what brought about THAT confessional? Wasn't the original point of this thread to propose awful fates? Can you imagine something worse that being massively hung over, and waking up to find some bright young bozo sitting chipper on a chair, just waiting for someone to talk to ?

-PatP|||Originally posted by Pat Phelan
Wasn't the original point of this thread to propose awful fates? Can you imagine something worse that being massively hung over, and waking up to find some bright young bozo sitting chipper on a chair, just waiting for someone to talk to ?

-PatP

Pretty much sums it up....|||Originally posted by blindman
I think only Muslims get the virgins. Sorry, Brett.

Auch! .. That hurts ..
yep .. I am Muslim .. and I have been trying to explain the real Islam (not the one hijacked since 9/11) to my friends here in the States .. being a mulsim in the states .. has been real tough since then ..

Religion in SQL Server forum ?!? .. I know what some folks are thinking ..

Sorry blindman! I couldn't resist to answer ..

To go back to the original subject of this thread .. my nightmare would be to be trapped in a room with three fanatics (a Muslim developer, a Jewish DBA and a Christian Project Manager) debating who is resposible for the software crash !!!!!! and who is to blame for killing Jesus :o) ..|||Salam!

"a Muslim developer, a Jewish DBA and a Christian Project Manager"

Shoot, I know I've heard that joke before, but I can't remember the punchline. They walk into a bar, right? Or are they in an airplane with only two parachutes? Wait! Wait! They're playing golf...|||okay
i didnt think that this was going to spark a spanish inquisition.
after all, nobody expects a spanish inquisition.

my intent was to have people post ironical examples of dba punishment as if they had gone to hell as illustrated in dante's divine comedy(in this story dante is shown hell and sees that the devil chooses punishments that fit your greatest transgressions. )

like in little nicky when lovitz pretends to be a bird while peeping in a bedroom window. so when he dies, the devil has a giant "horny bird" try to bugger him all throughout eternity.

i re formatted your joke. (joke-92 syntax)

"a Muslim developer, a Jewish DBA and a Christian Project Manager walk into a bar. the bartender looks up and says " hey. what is this, some kind of joke?"|||That was a good one, Scott, and a quick one too!|||Originally posted by Ruprect
my intent was to have people post ironical examples of dba punishment as if they had gone to hell as illustrated in dante's divine comedy(in this story dante is shown hell and sees that the devil chooses punishments that fit your greatest transgressions. ) Ok, how about being the Data Modeler / DBA for a group of developers new to working in the client/server environment. 1/4 of the developers from an ISAM background, 1/4 from an Oracle shop, and 1/2 straight out of class. Have them speak four different native languages, non of which are your native language. Distribute them roughly evenly around the globe, to provide you with 24 hour per day activity.

Then just for good measure, tackle a project for which you are chronically under staffed.

Is that something more like what you'd been expecting ?

-PatP|||Sounds like what we have here, except none of them have designed anything serious, and the majority can't even design pubs without cheating ;)|||Originally posted by Pat Phelan
Ok, how about being the Data Modeler / DBA for a group of developers new to working in the client/server environment. 1/4 of the developers from an ISAM background, 1/4 from an Oracle shop, and 1/2 straight out of class. Have them speak four different native languages, non of which are your native language. Distribute them roughly evenly around the globe, to provide you with 24 hour per day activity.

Then just for good measure, tackle a project for which you are chronically under staffed.

Is that something more like what you'd been expecting ?

-PatP

that's exactly it
except you forgot to mention the deadline.|||Wait. Are we describing ironic punishments, or where we work? ;-)|||if you can find a distinction i would really like to know it.

by the way everyone, i work in sheer hell and am hereby announcing my free-agent status. as soon as i find a new gig i am outa there.|||Mr. Crowley, what went on in your head